We’ve all heard different sayings and adages in our lives, especially as children. Sometimes they’ll have nuggets of truth, sometimes when we look back we realize they may not have been as true as we thought they were.
I remember one I heard as a child on the playground. “Boys go to Jupiter to get stupider, girls go to college to get more knowledge.” I remember being offended by that, thinking I’ve never been to Jupiter and I had no plans to do so.
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Some adages take a little digging to get to what it’s really teaching. “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” What happens if you eat a bad apple? The doctor may be coming after all. But when you dig into it you realize that it’s saying that eating healthy decreases the likelihood you’ll have to go see the doctor.
Then sometimes you come across one that seems like it’s intended to teach something valuable, but even with its good intentions can be off base. A good example is “sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.”
Some say it came from an anti-bullying campaign. It had great intentions, but missed the mark. There are a couple of problems with it. One, it gives a person license to say whatever they want. If the words don’t mean anything, it doesn’t matter what you say.
The second problem is that it misses the point that words have a lot of power. The reality is, we need to understand that words are powerful. What we say matters.
The wisdom of James about the tongue
Words are what God spoke to bring the world into existence. He spoke and there was light. God spoke and there was life. Words got the apostle Peter in trouble multipole times.
Words are powerful. They can speak life, they can support, they can build up others.
Just as much as they can lead to good things, our words also can tear down and harm others. Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can break a heart.
As much damage as words do, they can also build up. Words can restore what has been torn apart.
Our words are meaningful. They’re influential. Because of their power and the weight they carry, they need to be wielded.
We’re looking at James 3:1-12 today. The practical wisdom that James offers this time helps us look at the significance of our words, and how to wield them.
The self-discipline of taming the tongue
Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly. We all stumble in many ways. Anyone who is never at fault in what they say is perfect, able to keep their whole body in check.
James 3:1-2 (NIV)
James points out the value and the risk that go with our words. There’s so much value in what we say that misusing the spoken word creates risk. There’s so much value that there can be strict judgment related to our words. It makes James declare that this is important. It’s not something frivolous, or something to do on a whim. We need to take it seriously.
He points out that the person who doesn’t slip up is perfect and self-controlled. The rarity of perfection points out how difficult it can be to control your tongue. But he also points out that someone who can control their tongue likely has self-control in other areas.
We see this in athletes. High performing athletes often have a discipline in their training and conditioning. That discipline often manifests itself in other areas of their life. You see it in how they play basketball, and it shows up in what they eat. It’s present in their sleep schedule and in their training.
In the same way, a person who is disciplined in how they speak is often disciplined in other ways. It reminds us that discipline doesn’t just begin and end with what we say, it’s present in other areas.
The relative influence of the tongue
When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.
James 3:3-5a (NIV)
James uses the most relevant examples of his day to illustrate that while the tongue is small, what it can do is huge.
Have you ever been around a horse? While I think I’m a pretty big guy, once I get face to snout with a horse I’m intimidated. When I was a child, my parents tried to get me involved with trick riding. I was riding a big, majestic yet scary black horse and we’re riding fast, and the instructor wants me to stand up. I was like, “I surely will not do this.” That horse was going to do whatever it wants whether I’m on its back or not.
When a horse has a bit in its mouth, even as small as the bit is, it’s not in the horse’s best interest to go in any direction other than where the bit is leading it to go. Comparatively, the bit is tiny but its influence is huge. In the same way a small rudder moves a comparatively large complicated ship.
A friend of mine works in banking and often has to move money around for his clients. While sometimes the amount he moves is small, one time he had to move about $3 million dollars. He said he was sweating, scared of making a mistake. His nervousness came from knowing the value of what he was working with.
We may not understand the value of what we’re dealing with when it comes to our words. We might be reckless, not watching what we say. Or we might know the power of our words and wield them anyway. The words we use, the tone of voice, the inflections, can all be powerful.
The destructive capability of the tongue
Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.
James 3:5b-8 (NIV)
Think about gossip, how quickly it can spread, and how much damage it can do in a short period of time. While we can tame animals, we struggle to tame the tongue.
Our responsibility with the tongue
With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.
James 3:9-12
There’s a shift happening here. James shifts from talking in general about the tongue to now addressing the believer. How is it that with the same tongue that we praise God with, we curse others? How can we lift God up and tear others down?
Like mixing salt water and fresh water, the mixed way we use our tongue shouldn’t happen. Like fig trees bearing olives, grapevines bearing figs, or tomato plants producing cherries. It just doesn’t go together.
And then he just ends the discussion of the tongue. It’s like he has nothing good to say about how we use the tongue.
We can choose how to use our words
It seems like a discouraging text. He’s calling out the damaging way we use our words. But while the use of the tongue can be negative, that’s not the choice we have to make. As the great philosopher Hannah Montana once said, “life is what you make it, so let’s make it rock,” right?
Our words are what we choose to speak. Let’s choose to speak well. Our words are powerful. Let’s use them well.
Many places in scripture, especially in Proverbs, show a dichotomy of how our words can be poisonous but also can bring life.
The words of the reckless pierce like swords,but the tongue of the wise brings healing.
Proverbs 12:8
A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare
Proverbs 15:1
Kind words are like honey— sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.
Proverbs 16:24
We’ve all had times when we’re enjoying our day, then someone says something sharp. Suddenly we’re angry, we don’t guard what we say in return, and we make it worse.
The flip side is, words pay off when carefully chosen. They can bless others.
3 Big Lessons on How We Use Words
Our words are worth guarding.
Our words can pierce like swords, but they can bring healing. They can make tempers flare, but they can deflect anger. Our words can be harmful but also be like honey, sweet to the soul, and healthy for the body. With as much damage as our words can cause, words that are spoken well can bring life.
We need to be aware of what comes out of our mouth. Do I need to put a cover on it? Will I say something hurtful or will I bring life?
Speak in a way that reflects the value people have in Jesus.
When we speak to people or about them, do they reflect the value they have in Jesus? In verse 9, James talked about cursing people who’ve been made in the likeness of God.
“Made in the likeness of God” is so important. James could have left that phrase out, because it says enough to talk just about the harm we create. But everyone has been made in God’s image, and when we speak against them, we speak against what God has made.
Psalm 139 speaks of being made intentionally by God, with purpose. When we slander or insult someone else, not only do we strip them of the dignity that goes with being in God’s image, we insult the one who made them.
You know you don’t get away with insulting a child without insulting their parent. You can’t insult a child without insulting their grandparents.
In the times of James, a king or ruler might put up statues of himself in a city. If someone insulted the statue, it was considered the same thing as insulting the ruler. James uses this to help us understand the gravity of insulting someone made in God’s likeness.
Someone with different political views may be a villain in your eyes. But to slander them is to slander the one who made them.
You may have someone you don’t like. The mention of their name fuels you with anger. But to slander them or gossip about them or tear them down doesn’t just insult them, it insults the one who made them.
Remember the value a person has in God’s eyes.
Choose well how you use your words
What will I do with my words?
James ends the passage in a kind of tension. He says this shouldn’t be, and gives examples, but then leaves it at that.
But do you notice that he never says “therefore choose to speak life.” He doesn’t advise that you choose to speak well. He simply calls it out and says this isn’t right.
We can’t honor god while disparaging others. We have to choose. When you’ve been wronged and it seems the person deserves the worst, choose your words. Will you use them to start a fire, or to put the fire out? Do you inflict pain or bring healing to the soul?
James encourages us to choose, but he gives us the information to help us choose well. He emphasizes that God cares about them, and by extension he cares deeply about what we say.
Not everyone should teach. While the tongue is a small thing, it has a tremendous influence. It can be like a fire or a poison. We can tear others down. Or our words can be like honey that’s sweet to the soul and healthy for the body. They can deflect anger, bring healing and comfort, and be an agent of reconstruction and development.
Choose how you use your words. Choose to invite Jesus into what you say, so we can grow in God and grow in taming the tongue.